Train Ride to Edinburgh

Warning: The Edinburgh posts are going to be in painful detail since this blog is mostly for me to read when I'm old and can't remember my own name, nevermind a trip I took long ago.  Take that, dementia!

Doing my best Vanna impression

Traveling is usually a pain in the ass, and I don’t think anyone likes to see the TSA rifle through their things. National security does not reside in my underwear. Which is why we decided to take the train on our trip up to Edinburgh, instead of flying. It was a short bus ride to King’s Cross Station, where we hopped on the East Coast train headed to Edinburgh. Train tickets here are a little funny – two one-way trips are oftentimes cheaper than a round trip ticket.

 The first class coach cost a bit more than the standard fare, but we decided it was worth it for the four hour ride to Edinburgh. We got free wi-fi for the duration (you only get 15 minutes free on Standard), and we sat in roomy chairs at a table for four. About an hour into our trip, a bunch of folks from Northampton heading to a rugby match in Edinburgh hopped onboard, and some of them joined us at our table and struck up a conversation. They were really friendly and all kitted out in Saints gear and wearing hats with green and gold ribbons. During the ride, I learned quite a bit:

Football is a gentleman’s game for thugs, while rugby is a thug’s game for gentlemen.

Close to the knuckle – You’re hitting too close to home

Morris dancers – Guys who wear hats and bells around their ankles that prance around waving hankies in the air

Billy: “I’ve been building boats all my life, but nobody calls me Billy the boatmaker” (a sheep loving joke)

Brighton is the gay capital of England

You should really visit Durham cathedral if you get the chance

Scrum is a big group of rugby players huddled and fighting for possession of a ball
Rugby players often have cauliflower ears like boxers and wrestlers
I was complimented for insulting a British man in British slang

Always travel with your own cooler of Guinness and have one of your kids dole them out as necessary

They got a kick out of calling Scotland “Northern England”

The people are friendlier the farther north you go

But it’s grim in the north, emphasis on grim

We learned a lot in those three hours. They were a lovely group of people, and not just because they kept offering us giant cans of Guinness at 11 o'clock in the morning. Very different from Londoners, they were proud to point out.