Beijing, I Hate You

J and I were back in London by Monday afternoon, and I started packing as soon as we got back since I was flying to Beijing the next day. Let me tell you, it's not easy packing three weeks worth of stuff, especially when you're going to different temperature extremes: Beijing - average, Tibet - ass cold, Nepal - swamp butt hot. But I somehow managed to squeeze it all in my new backpack.

My British Airways flight to Beijing pretty much sucked. The TV was broken, the overhead light was stuck in the on position and my window shutter wouldn't close. The only good thing about it was that the flight was relatively empty, which meant I got three seats all to myself.

I arrived before any of my friends and managed to get a good nap in before they finally showed up three hours behind schedule. One of them had a knife stashed in his luggage (I still don't know why) and they weren't able to travel on the metro since you have to undergo a security check every time you get on the metro and such items are prohibited. They also had a hard time finding a taxi since Beijing cabs won't take you if they don't "feel" like it.

We were all famished at that point, and we headed off to Ghost Street, which is well-known for late night dining.


We wandered into a restaurant that looked like it was doing a brisk business and ordered dinner by pointing at various things on the menu. The food that finally came out was disgusting - there was more gristle and bone than meat and everything was positively swimming in grease. Smoking is permitted pretty much everywhere in Beijing, including inside restaurants, and the smell of nicotine didn't make the food taste any better. We finally gave up trying to eat and settled for watching the guys next to us attacking their stewed bullfrogs with gusto.

The next day, we hopped on the metro to check out Tiananmen Square and the Forbidden City. I have to hand it to Beijing, their metro kicks the Tube's ass. It's dirt cheap, clean and air-conditioned.

Tiananmen Square was a vast expanse of concrete interspersed with splashes of Communist red. Several buildings enclosed the square and two giant TV screens were showing what looked like propaganda.




There was a very strong military presence, with lots of soldiers in formal uniforms standing around with ramrod straight posture.

Mao's mausoleum is also located there, but none of us were curious enough to try to catch a glimpse of his casket. We settled for his portrait, which made him look like a kindly grandfather. Ha!


My general impression of the square was that it was stark, forbidding and the least friendliest place ever. They've even got a sculpture that looks like it wants to shoot you! Btw, none of the people in their sculptures look remotely Chinese - what's up with that?


There really wasn't that much to look at so we headed to the Forbidden City. More soldiers dotted the landscape, and I finally got yelled at for taking their picture. I wasn't that keen on getting arrested in China so I stopped snapping pics and cannot provide photographic evidence of some of the guys who were standing in formation with the soldiers. They were strangely dressed in street clothes and looked like disgusting slobs - one guy had his finger shoved so far up his nose that it looked like he was conducting a full-on excavation of his piddly brain. Now I ask you, would Mao approve? I think not.


The compound was huge, much bigger than we originally imagined, and although the buildings were impressive enough, they all start to look alike after a while.


I found the statues to be much more interesting. A killer dog with a killer 'fro was my favourite.


Many of China's buildings are guarded by a pair of lions - one female and one male. You can tell them apart because the male has a ball under his paw while the female has a cub under hers.

Dragons can also be found pretty much everywhere. I don't know why this one looks like he's laughing hysterically - there's nothing fun or funny about the Forbidden City. Oh, except for the shop that allows you to put on traditional clothing and puts you against a green screen to produce a video that makes you look like you're flying through the Forbidden City.


It was a hard five hour slog, but we got through it in the end. After a short break back at the hotel, we headed out to Wangfujing, a large outdoor shopping area with a wide variety of retail outlets.

It's also home to a street famous for its cheap and freakish eats. We hit up the food stalls and sampled some dumplings, noodles and pumpkin cakes.


Some of the stuff that we didn't sample included...

Dog stew:


Giant centipedes:


King spiders:


We were still pretty hungry since we weren't that keen on filling our bellies with sheep penis and baby shark, and we were tired of fighting with street vendors who conveniently "forgot" to return our change or straight up demanded more money after agreeing on a price. In defeat, we found refuge at the nearest McDonald's to get away from all the salty and greasy food. Ironic, huh?

Some other things I hated about Beijing:
(1) People spitting all the time. ALL THE TIME.
(2) People smoking everywhere.
(3) The worst pollution I've ever encountered in my life, and I'm from LA!
(4) The never-ending hostile stares.
(5) The strange lack of fruit and vegetables.
(6) Why does everything need to be deep-fried?
(7) The constant jostling and pushing. I WILL elbow you back, asshole.
(8) The aggressive driving. Here's a thought: try to not run over pedestrians.
(9) Censorship. I couldn't access any blogs, and I was advised that if I type any "troubling" words in my emails such as "Tibet" or "freedom", my email would most likely shut down. Fan-f*cking-tastic.

I needed to get out of there...

Easter in Istanbul

J and I decided at the last minute that we ought to go somewhere for Easter weekend, but I was a bit hesitant since I knew everyone would be going away and booking so late would mean sky-high prices. At the same time, I couldn't pass up a four-day weekend, and it was our last trip together before I left for Asia so come Friday, we were on a flight on Turkish Airlines to Istanbul.

Why Istanbul? Everyone I knew who had gone there had raved about it (great knock-off Mulberry bags!), and I figured the crowds wouldn't be so bad since it's a Muslim country (Jesus who?).

I should mention that Turkish Airlines is now my favorite airline. They don't give a rat's ass that people are messing around with the overhead compartment - they're pulling away from the jetway as scheduled! The food is more than edible, and they provide actual metal utensils in economy class.

Our hotel provided complimentary pick-up service from the airport, and we checked in to the Rose Garden Suites in Sultanahmet, which is the historic quarter of Istanbul. The hotel looked deceptively small from the outside and was actually a sprawling set of buildings once we passed reception. Our room played up the exotic Aladdin theme to the hilt, and we also got a tiny balcony thrown in. The room didn't justify the price, but it was the only passable one I could find after scouring the web for hours and it was sufficient for our purposes.




The next day, we tried Turkish coffee for the first time at breakfast. J didn't know how strong of a drink it already is and requested it extra strong. Needless to say, it was a tough cup to swallow. We were pretty amped from the massive dose of caffeine and headed uphill to check out the Blue Mosque.

We soon found ourselves on what remains of the Hippodrome, a Byzantine stadium for chariot racing. Now, it's just a plaza with three very different columns, including an Egyptian Obelisk from the 15th century. There also happened to be a trio of musicians playing traditional music, which lent a nice flavor to the whole scene. A small German fountain with a very impressive ceiling anchored the other end of the plaza for some inexplicable reason.

And then we got our first glimpse of the Blue Mosque. It is truly one of the most impressive buildings I've approached - the cascading domes of the roof are absolutely stunning and the slate blue color is beautiful.


We joined the long queue to enter the mosque, and as it is a place of prayer, it's requested that visitors cover their heads and knees.


The interior was almost as impressive as the exterior, but it was hard to enjoy it as the entire place stunk of hot feet. Shoes are not permitted within, and the stench made it hard to stay for long.




Right across the way is the Hagia Sophia, a place I've read about in books as a small child, and I couldn't help but marvel at the fact that I was standing right in front of it!

The building was completed in the 6th century, and it now functions as a museum. The very impressive interior is an interesting mix of Christian and Muslim features. Islam prohibits images of man in its mosques as they're considered to be a distraction, but the Hagia Sophia has a beautiful mosaic of the Virgin and Child and important saints. J especially liked the arabic script, while I liked the stained glass windows, which were very different from the stained glass I'm accustomed to seeing in churches.

We wandered about for quite some time, as the museum is absolutely huge, but we also had to make a stop at the Basilica Cistern.

Also built in the 6th century, the subterranean structure held water for the city until it was eventually forgotten and only rediscovered when locals told of catching fish in their basement wells. A couple of people had told me how amazing it is, so I was eager to see what it was all about and more than bit dismayed when I made my way down below. The entire place was Disneyfied in that they had creepy music playing and the entire interior was lit up in devilish red light. The cistern's big draw are the two Medusa heads, which I didn't find that impressive. Don't be surprised if water drips on you the whole time or by the fish that still live in the cistern.

We still had time to see one more sight so we walked towards the Grand Bazaar, which houses over 25,000 shops. I was pretty disappointed as it seemed that all of the stalls sold the same crap that they thought tourists want to buy, and the place was jam-packed with people bargaining for knock-off goods.

I was pretty tired of getting jostled so we left for the quieter Arasta bazaar behind the Blue Mosque, where I nabbed a scarf for myself.

We were pretty famished by dinnertime as lunch had turned out to be a massive fail. We had bought some sandwiches at the shop across the way from the Hagia Sophia. It was a pretty obvious tourist trap, but it was still pretty amazing at how bad a restaurant could mess up a simple cheese sandwich. Anyway, we decided to take no chances and had dinner at the Four Seasons Hotel nearby. The food was excellent, and dessert was a fun treat to look at - they created a hard candy version of the sultan's insignia!

The next day, we headed to the grand-daddy of them all, the Topkapi Palace, and on the way, we saw some ladies preparing what looked like delicious dumplings. Yum!

It was a bit of a hike to get to the entrance of the palace, and the place was crawling with tons of tour groups, so much so that it was really hard to enjoy ourselves.

The palace is a compound of different buildings, and we had to queue for every single exhibit. A can't-miss was the jewel display, and J especially enjoyed the full body armor made completely of diamonds in the weapons exhibit. Unfortunately, photography is not allowed inside most of the exhibits, so you'll have to see the goods in person. Let's just say that the Turks were really into encrusting everything with gems and most of the furniture was inlaid with mother-of-pearl.

Every single inch of the buildings' interiors is covered with fancy blue tile, and the Turks didn't pass up the opportunity to gussy up basic practicalities such as lights, water fountains or windows.

We had big plans to take a ferry ride along the Bosphorus up to Ortakoy, but we were pretty tired from fighting the crowds so we just wandered around the park by the palace eating ice cream bars and gazing upon the many tulips that are planted all over the city, including a variety of the flower that I haven't seen before.

We spent the rest of the day sitting on a bench at the Hippodrome and watching the many street vendors selling grilled corn and candy and listening to the calls to prayer before settling for an unremarkable dinner at a restaurant hidden behind the handcraft museum.

I think at least another full day at Istanbul would've done justice to the city, but it turned out we timed our departure perfectly since it started pouring cats and dogs that night and the rain showed no signs of letting up by the time we left for our flight on Monday.

It was great being somewhere so different from our last few destinations, but at the same time, I don't think the city quite lived up to my expectations. To be fair, it had been so hyped up by everyone that some amount of disappointment was probably inevitable. I'm glad I visited, but I don't think we'll be returning any time soon unless I start missing the many stray cats that live quite well in the city.